Work Story.Again?

I'm sorry. Been ranting about works lately.
It's because I've spent almost 8 hours in the office.

I hope I could be strong. Strong enough to be able to do work without guidance, to hear all people mocks me(I know I shouldn't care), the bosses with a shitty personality,etc.

I hope I could stay here for a year but with a circumstances like this, I don't know how long I could stay.

The Working Life

I thought life would be so easy once I work but it's not easy at all. From my first day at work. It's freaking me out. The awkward bosses.

I don't know if I could take this level of stress any longer. It's stressful. It's tiring. Too much workload.

Give me strength

Been working for month now. It's tiring and exhausting but I'll try my best to resist the temptation to resign anytime as I'm already got my appointment letter. The thought of giving up is always pushing me so I'm going to try really hard to be mentally prepared for anything. I shouldn't give a fuck about what my colleagues might say as long as I'm doing my work as usual. I know it's hard but there's a lot of people out there who's having a tough time. Look at the immigrants who's came to our country and leaving their family behind just to work as a labourer in a construction site be it  men or a women? For them to work under the hot sun. I just couldn't imagine their pain.

At the same time, I' gonna brush up my interview skills and trying my best to improve my resume so I could get a stable job.

Woke up at 3 am by the sound of my mum coming back from the fishing trip and couldn't sleep.
Looked up to my neighbours house and wondering why they didn't go to work. Just realize that today is Saturday.

Too shy to talk?

I don't know but I find it hard to adjust myself to a new work environment especially if my colleagues is male. I'm not bias but I find it so uncomfortable working with them. I don't know what topic should we talk about. I think I need to brush up my skills on that area.

An Old Lady

An old lady just praise me for having the initiative to work.

Never in my 25 years of living, to be praised for working.

I never felt proud for my job before but now I kinda feel proud by the fact that I'm working.

The old lady said it's a good thing that I'm working because not only that I don't have to ask my parents for money, I also would learn a lot of things. I agreed because the experience of working is really different from studying whereby working is the reality of life. The experience itself is really priceless.

The old lady made me think about lotsa things today. Her wise advice makes me realize that sometimes a simple conversation with strangers is the best way to learn about life ups and downs.

Thanks old lady. 

I will remember you. 

What's wrong with me?

To blend myself in the new environment is really not my thing.
I hate to feel awkward.
I hate when communication failed.

I'm confused

I don't know myself anymore.
I couldn't understand myself.
My feelings is just mixed up with many other things.
I love to work but once I'm quite unhappy with the environment.
I hate how I couldn't click with them.

Gotta stop complaining though.
Gotta appreciate my life.