My Jobless Thought

Hey, there. I'm still OFFICIALLY jobless. No, I'm not proud being jobless. It's more like kinda depressing to be sitting in the room, facing the wall each day and wondering if there's any hope for me? To have at least a decent job to support my family or at least have enough income to support myself?Well I don't know and I'm not sure.

Feels like I still have long way to go. So many life achievement that is yet to be achieve. Depression, insomnia, nightmares and etc. keep attacking me. Every time I'm going to bed, my mind racing. How am I gonna get money to pay my study loan debt with me being jobless. What should I eat?How should I pay all the bills?I don't know. I'm scared. 

Never did I ever imagine for my life to be turned out like this. 

But there's always one thing that I'm always grateful for is to have this journey called life. To be able to be just ALIVE.STILL BREATHING. I think i just need to be strong because this life I have is not an easy path yet I'm grateful. Always.

Trust HIM

Dear Heavenly Father,
Please help me to trust You and in Your will for me. I am really having a hard time in surrendering everything because I wanted to be in control in some areas of my life.
But deep in my heart I know that only You, can control everything, and set everything right. Please help me to learn to let go of things and let You handle all things that I struggle with and worry about.
Please help me to remember how You have always taken care of my concerns in its proper time and place.
Please help me to understand things beyond my knowledge for I know it is only in You
where I can find peace and understanding.
This I seek and pray for in Jesus Mighty name…Amen.

Unproductive~

It is the most unproductive 5 months in my life. It's not easy. To have NO income at all. I'm glad to have a supported family. 

For this year, my resolution is easy. To have at least a decent job and to earn a stable income.

Note to self:

Prayer

There's a lot of prayers. For me, as a Catholic, I used to pray Rosary and the other prayer. Lately, my parents introduce me to this prayer which is The Rosary of Liberation. I think it's a good prayer tho.Try it!

The Most "Lifeless" days in my life TT

Been back home since Aug from my practical training and life has been quite unproductive since then. Oh my!Feels so empty,lonely and miserable. I'm officially jobless for almost 4 months now. 

No job, no work and no money but it's good tho because now I start to appreciate every money that given by my parents. It's hard to be jobless.

X'mas too won't be as exciting as the past years. No more celebration. No more presents.No more good food. But I'm grateful to be close with my family for this 4 months. After almost 3 years away from home for my Diploma, this is the longest holiday.

I don't know when will I get a job. I'm trying to get one lately. I pray that I'll get one. God's will.

Oh yeah been watching this awesome K Drama lately~

49 Days

I'm counting my dayssss

..before i'm going back my hometown.YES!i'm gonna be with my family and I will be officially jobless. Nevermind,as long as I am working at my hometown, that should be fine.I'm not gonna stay at my current town here in Miri. I hate it!

I am sorry for walking?

I am alone here in Miri and am currently doing my industrial training at this one company. I have no cars so I have to use public transportation and walk for around 10 minutes. My company have a guard house in front of the main gate so they surely saw me walking to work. They was like "hey,you're walking today?" I really want to answer: YES and SO WHAT?? WHY DO THEY NEED TO BE FUCKING BUSY BODY?So WHAT IF I"M WALKING TO WORK?IT"S NOT LIKE IT IS SO WRONG TO WALK?!!

Maybe because I'm the only one who'd didn't have a car. The cleaner even have a car.
But how did you moron expect me to have a car when I am only a student??!I don't even worked yet!
My mum was right. She said all the guard is not even educated and they won't understand the simple thing like this.

Kthanxbye