Sunday, February 27, 2011

Voice Of Faith

I'm wrapping my day with this beautiful song with a well written words that seriously touched me deep inside my heart.

You shall cross the barren desert
But you shall not die of thirst
You shall wander far in safety
Though you do not know the way
You shall speak your words in foreign lands
And all will understand
You shall see the face of God and live

Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come, follow me
And I will give you rest

If you pass the raging waters in the sea
You shall not drown
If you walk amid the burning flames
You shall not be harmed
If you stand before the power of hell
And death is at your side
Know that I am with you
Through it all

Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come, follow me
And I will give you rest

Blessed are your poor
For the kingdom shall be theirs
Blessed are you that weep and mourn
For one day you shall laugh
And if wicked tongues insult and hate you
All because of me
Blessed, blessed are you!

Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come, follow me
And I will give you rest

Touched it but Let It Go If Don't Want To Buy it

 Going to Popular Bookstores today after the mass. Not to buy a books but just to doing a free reading..hehe.. isn't it exciting? I know POPULAR BOOKSTORE is not a library but I cannot help it since I don't even know where is the library here in Miri..Somehow, still I can read all of the new magazines without even need to buy it, that's what matter the most, right? Money was so tight..hmn..
Okay, after I finished reading all of the magazines, I go to the novel sections, and then, I spotted the sections for the Cecilia Ahern and Jodi Picoult novels....Oh no..Its really breaks my heart when I just can touch and read a bit but I cannot buy and bring it home. Of course I can read all the novels there but it sure going to take me 3 days to finish up reading all of the novels. Here's the list of novels that I'm seriously aiming for.Hope I have enough money to buy all of these novels. Maybe I should wait until I have a stable job so that I can have my own library.*sigh* 

Money is a good servant but not a good master

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Thank You for Making Me Laugh when I'd Amost forgotten How To

I still remember few years back, when I'm still in secondary school where I'm seriously glued on the TV when this show was on. And I'm not alone because my little sister also enjoyed it and will laughing with me so loud until my dad feels annoyed by the loudness of our voice. Oh, how I missed the good old days where I live less stressful where there's nothing to be worried. I miss the moment where all of my family members was always at home at this time to eat dinner together. Now, we hardly meet each other as all of us was busy with our own hectic life and been living far from each other. Now, I do realize how important to appreciate our precious moment together.~H.O.M.E.S.I.C.K~

Friday, February 25, 2011

Happy Weekends~

Yay..Friday night..Such a "happy" weekends..I'm going to fill it with sitting and hunching over my laptop and trying my best to finishing all my assignments and presentation slides...which I should do since last week but due to my procrastination and my special habit..doing everything last minute so here I am, struggling but I still try to run away from this, I'll let my self to have a 2 hours rest by watching this....

I find it such an interesting film..the moral values is the most important thing in here..where love overtakes the discrimination..the skin colors..the race..Love it and suddenly felt so emotional now..I'm tired and want to sleep..*eh?am I just making an excuses to do the tones of assignments and presentation slides?hmn..never mind..I'll make it up tomorrow..

*Procrastination Mode *

Letter To God

Lord, please hear and answer my prayers.

The Unexpected Path

As I read through it, I was absolutely agree with it. Sometimes, when we doing something and we've been putting our full effort in it but the outcome is not like what we wished for we felt like all the effort was just a waste. Like me, I've been in the situation where my path of life seems so blurry until I want to make a decision to stop walking and just sitting in my room and do nothing. I almost want to give up on life but then when I look through what had happens, it's obvious that things happen for a reasons.

After my SPM results, almost all of my classmates got an offer to the college and me? No, I'm not having any offer since my result is not "REALLY GOOD". I began to asking myself, like why they got the offer and why not me?

Then, I pursue my education to the same school and I'm taking the STPM but due to some distractions, my results were "REALLY BAD"..

So, I'm working as a part-timer as a service assistant( Food & Beverage) at Kinabalu Park for almost 7 months until my parents said it's enough and I need to do something for my future like working with the government or pursue my studies. So I quit my job and begin with my life as a job seeker.

Few months later, I notice about the NAVY job offer at our local news paper and I said to my parents that I will give it a try and there am I attending the interview. My mum was a bit worried since not many women would choose to be a navy but since I seriously got nothing to do on that time, I do my best to be accepted to the Malaysian Navy. For navy interview, it was divided into many sections before you will be accepted. It's like physical fitness, BMI, physical test like eyes, legs and hand also the short interview with the officers. I passed almost all of the sections and my dad was like a bit happy ( he's the one who's accompanying me and saw all the process) because I only need to pass this last section before I get accepted.

But then, the officer said "Sorry, we cannot accept you"
And I ask them "WHY??" and the stupid thing is that I'm almost cried because I was so frustrated because I really thought that I'm going to be accepted.
Maybe the navy officer feels sympathy to me and he also want to prove that he's right so he called another officers and they also said the same thing.
And you know what's my problem?
It's my right hand. My left hand was good but the problem with my right hand is that the radius and ulna bone is not perfectly straight and it will be hard for me to use the rifle because it will not aiming at the right spot. So, yes, I got rejected.

Then, a few months later, on the same news paper, there are the Air Stewardess vacancy and my parents think I should give it a try. So, without any preparation, I give it a try even though I know that I will hardly pass the interview. Also, it had a lot of sections before you get accepted. So, I passed almost all the sections but when it come to the last sections, they said "Sorry, we cannot accept you" but this time I didn't ask because I knew it was my mistake. I really didn't know what to answer because they ask me who is their managing director? what do you find our service? I don't even know who is their manager and I never use their services since it's way more expensive than the other one.But, to be rejected only on the last sections of interview really made me heart broken because my expectation to be accepted were high.

You know what I felt after I get rejected two times? I give up on looking for a job. I told my parents that this is it. I will staying at home and do nothing and I do it for almost 5 months. I've been wasting my time for almost 5 months due to the emotional impact because of my failures in the interviews. During that time, my self esteem was zero and I will only hiding from my friends, my cousins or my relatives. I hate seeing them because they always talk about their university life, assignments or their tutorials. How they want to be like me.

I feels so down because I seriously got nothing to do. Times passed so slow and I began to question my self am I live for no reasons?I'm giving up on everything. My parents unable to watch me being like that, suggested that they will sent me to a college and I said yes. After failed to get a job, I never thinking of studying again and here am I now, studying at a college at 22 years old. Actually, I'm glad because of my parents was very supportive and they always remind me that you're born because of something. Also, I'm glad I didn't get accepted by the Malaysian Navy and the Air Stewardess because I really like my course right now. I'm taking the Occupational Safety and Health and I really looking forward to becoming a Safety and Health Officer.

So, the moral of the stories is NEVER GIVE UP which I've done last time. But if I was really giving up on life, I will not going to pursue my studies to college on the first hand right?

You must never give up and don’t be discouraged,
Motivation comes from within,
Because you’re the one that will hold the key to your destiny

Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Current Songs Obsession=Co-Ed

Sometimes, listening to these songs makes me kinda giddy..Even though I cannot understands the lyrics but just by listening to their melody and watching the mv is good enough to fill my music hungriness.

My Special Methods

Some says,


But as for me, right now, I think I will studyLIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW since I’ve been practicing my own way of studying. I know that’s it’s seriously not a good way of studying. Oh, I don’t even know if it’s even called “STUDYING”..

I’M ALWAYS DOING A LAST MINUTE REVISIONS. I’ve been practicing it since I’m still in my primary. True enough. I want to change this habit and been reminding myself since I’m in my primary days but I didn’t realize that I’ve been practicing it until now..

Let me tell you this, actually tomorrow at 9am I’m having my mid-term exam for my OCCUPATIONAL SAFETY class which is always an interesting subject to learn since the lecturer have a good teaching skill and all of his notes is really simple but packed with lots of information. But due to my hectic lifestyles, I hardly have a time to do a revision for this paper earlier like most of students out there do. I have tonnes assignments, presentation slides and another exam to be done. So, I think my LAST MINUTE REVISIONS really helped a lot. I think that’s the only way I can pass the exam. Yeah, I shouldn’t be studying just to past an exam but you should know how this exam results will affect your whole results in the final exam? Now I was studying really hard to be prepared enough to face the exam tomorrow..

So, I have no other choice. Hmn.Actually, I do have a choice that can change this habit by managing my time well I guess. But it’s just myself don’t want to digest it well. I’ve been really absorbed with these methods already so my brain already trained to have these methods. Also, my grades actually much better if I do a last minutes revision rather than doing the earlier revision because I tend to forget everything if I studying earlier.

So, what type of Studying@ revision would you choose?

p/s I really need to study real hard( not smart)  as I’m not a genius in studies.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Have you ever look at the sky during the nights and count the star?

Have you ever look deeper into the lake and notice those small creatures who swimming freely?

Have you ever called your family in the middle of the night and they will always there even if we’re living in a different country?

Have you ever grateful for the jokes that make us laugh when we sometimes forgot how to due to the hectic live?

Have you ever been grateful for all of the things that we’ve already owned when others might never have a chance to have it?

Have you ever been grateful for the food that you eat when you’ll never realize that someone outside there haven’t had their dinner, lunch or even breakfast?

Have you ever been grateful for the comfy pillow and bed to be lied on when we tired and want to sleep while there are someone outside there don’t even have a room to be sleeping in?

Have you ever worked hard in yours studies and then pass the exam with flying colors?

The satisfaction of our own sweat makes it even worth
Our life is too precious since we’ve only live once

Sometimes, even the short comforting words is good enough to make me feels emotional and make me realize that there will always be someone by our side

Sometimes, even the sounds of the birds chirping is the pleasant sounds to be heard every morning
Sometimes, when I can deal all of the problems its feels good enough until I realize that things actually happens for a reasons

The love that I shared with God, my family and friends are too much precious to me that I hope that nothing would happens so that nothing will change

Somehow, we’re given the chance

The chance to treasure, enjoy and live our life to the fullest
The time is ticking and we should be grateful for everything while we could still feels it

APPRECIATION is needed here...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Here I Come, Lord

On last Friday, My brother and I just found out that one of our classmates named Julius were going to the CHURCH every weekends. Little that we know that he's actually attending a mass every weeks without fails since he don't looked like that kind of people.That's why this phrase come out "DON'T JUDGE BOOK BY IT'S COVER"

He's the type of 19 years old who looks like a hip hop man. Luckily, we met him because we didn't have a chance to attend a mass since we don't know where's the location of the church, which bus should we take and where should we supposedly stop if we taking the right bus but of course the main reason is because of our fear to cross the 8 LANE HIGHWAY but now there's a newly made CROSSOVER due to the increasing number of people who've died while crossing the 8 LANE HIGHWAY. So, it'll make our journey to church much more easier than the last time..

Not really many cars on the road since it's a Wet and Rainy Sunday

View from the crossover( Which make my brother's feet trembling since he's scared of height..LOL...)

Bus? Yes!Seriously, I'm excited when it comes on riding a bus because I never have a chance to use a bus as my transportation since all my destination is either too near that I can just walking or it's just way too far/ dangerous that my dad need to becoming the "TAXI DRIVER". Even Julius also amazed by the fact that I never use the bus in my entire life. He said he's getting boring of it and I said, for me it's a new phrase of my life. My brother had ride on a bus a few times already because he'd been accompanying his friend to watch the foot ball tournaments.

I was sitting in the first seat near the door and My brother and Julius started to laugh as I looked around the bus and becoming like the caves women who never ride on a bus..LOL       

On the way back home..Feeling so happy for the bus tour?

My knees didn't have enough space..Cramp

So, the mass started on 11am and Julius said that we will met at the bus stop in front of the shopping complex on 10.45 am. But due to our punctuality with my excitement on riding the bus , we walking from home as early as 10 am. Then reach at the bus stop on 10.25 am. Still, a bit too early. So we need to wait for him. 
 He'd finally come at 11 am and then we waited for the bus for almost 20 minutes and then managed to reach the church on 11.30 am due to the heavy rain and traffic jams.

After the mass, we go to the biggest shopping mall in Miri, The BINTANG SQUARE where Julius becoming our tourist guide since we've been here for only 2 times. Well, it's totaly different to be going to the mall with your "MALE Friend's"..If I were with my girlfriends, we will checked out almost all of the mall stores but with THEM( my bro and Julius), I just felt so awkward to do so, So I just walking past all the store. I noticed that Julius keep bringing us to the area where the bags and shoes are on sale the most but I just don't have the mood to checked it out since money was TIGHT.But then, Julius suddenly asked me with his weird expressions to me;

Julius:  Eh, you don't want to look at the bags?

Me: Huh?Why?

Julius: Nothing but you can just checked it out if you want to *Still insisting*

Me: Na, it's okay. I will just following you both :)

Haahaha..He might be thinking that I'm the WEIRDEST WOMEN he'd ever met. I'm not interested in shopping? He might be thinking like this..Actually, my brother said, he got 2 younger sisters so that's why he'd been thinking that way..

Honestly, I'm glad because finally, I made it. I come to your home, Lord. After lots of trials and cross, all I want to said is that I'm glad to be chosen to be the one who will carry your CROSS because at least I knew how it it feel to be in your place even if my CROSS is not that greater than YOURS LORD, I promised, I will do my best to keep my faith in You. 
Lord Jesus Christ, I Trust In You

You Light Of My Life

Yesterday, I'm having such a bad day....It's not PMS okay..It's just because what I'm hoping for didn't goes like what I wished for..Everything I do, seems wrong..I try to be P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E..But the N.E.G.A.T.I.V.E thought always tried to poisoning my mind..And the NEGATIVENESS wins over me..I was crying so bad..So bad until it feels like your heart had this BIG and HEAVY stones inside...I really need someone to talk to but I just don't want to bother them anymore with my problems..I know they also got their own problems....So, I handle it myself..I tell myself that I will deal it myself but I'm just so hopeless...I want to pray but I just don't have the COURAGE..I feels so DOWN..

I cried..I cried..and I cried until I heard my phones ringing at 11pm...and it's my mum numbers..I act like nothing had happened to me..asking them about their day..what did they eat for dinner, where's my dear cat Micky and what he's eating today..Where's my sister..aaaaaannnnddddd......

Suddenly, My mum said like this "If you got problems, just leave it all to Him since He know what the best for you..How little your pain compared to his sufferings" and I heard my dad's voice at the end of the line and he's reminding me to "Keep Praying"

I was shocked!!I didn't even told them my problems and they talking like they knew my current situations..I think that was all about the connection between us family...or can be known as an INSTINCT

Friday, February 18, 2011

Awesomely Touched My Soul

Susan Boyle pure voice itself makes this songs even awesome...
It's flawless...

I'm seriously T.O.U.C.H.E.D by these songs..

Have you?

I've been cravings for this past whole week..and I'm not pregnant  okay..It may sounds so but know what?I've been cravings more than a pregnant women would do..Okay..Let's check this out..

This one looked like stone right?It was actually a coffee sugar...Nice sister bought this for me last yea r

I don't know what is it called..but it's like our traditional food..and it's made from the rice flavor and the palm sugar..My mum used to cooked this but due to her busy working days, I hardly eat this at home..

p/s still have lots picture but to down load it seems like taking a year..So will do it later...

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Filling the Emptiness With Loneliness....

Even how busy am I..or how hectic my life is..I'm always felt like there's still something missing from my life...
I don't know what it is but I'm pretty sure there was something..Something that even me, myself don't even know..

Today was the most memorable days in this year,2011 where this is the first time since the year started where I felt so empty..Like what I said just now.."SOMETHING MISSING"...I've tried to have a conversation with my family and friends but seems like they've been having a hectic days..Yes..I was ignored..Everybody have their own way of living, i knew it...But then, this is when this emptiness turns into something more pathetic...LONELINESS...It hits me right into my face..

At 22 years old where my other friends said I should go hang out and have a drinks..Cheers here..Cheers there..But I think that's is just now way of life..I have my own responsibilities as a student and I don't think that I can cope with their way of living..When class finished at 5 o clock there will disappear to the pool house...Then, at 11 pm, they started to go clubbing until 5 am..and then..sleep a bit and go to class at 9am..For everyday..and this would go worsen if it was weekends...Arghh..It's really not suit my self...

I was staying at my room while my brothers and they other boys go out for jogging..I would never follow them since I cannot mix up with their topic..

So, here am I..Sitting and blogging...Actually, deep inside my heart, I really want to do something but for my situation right now..I don't think I can make it..I want to follow the follow a TAEKWONDO'S class which I've already followed for the past few years..But due to our financial problems, I need to quit since the fees were expensive..Even if I got money right now, its still impossible because I didn't have any transportation...

But to be feelings lonely like this was actually good for myself because I've changing the LONELINESS to something positive..When I feels lonely like this, I've started to realize how beautiful my surrounding life..even the small things make me feels so touched..Even the stray cats become my best friends..hahha...