One Night Stand

Desire. It's one thing that is really hard to control. I still remember, few years back when I promised myself that I would never do things that will torn my dignity but I still did it in the end. Things that will violate my religions belief. Guilt and regret. Lots of possibility and consequences.

I could stop him but I couldn't. I should control myself but I couldn't. Things are out of control. I must be insane. There is no protection at all. It's a messy business that resulted in blood.

What Exactly Had Happened?

Class going to start next week. So, the holiday is almost over. I've been spending my holiday by staying at my room and sleep almost all the time *hibernating mode*. But there's a weird thing happened yesterday. As you know, I'm living in this house with my bro and the other people. I'm the only girl & considering that fact, I've always take a safety precaution especially, always lock the door. When I woke up at yesterday, I noticed that my door is opened. Not widely open, but it's opened. I'm seriously scared, confused and thinking hard. What I can remember, before I go to bed, I did checked & lock the door. I don't know how did it happen. Is it my bro who forgot to close the door? or is it me, who open it by myself during sleep? or is it other people who open it? I hope not. I'm scared to ask my bro. I hate myself for sleeping like there's no tomorrow until I didn't realize I'm sleeping with the opened door. I should be careful next time.

Happy Weekends~

Yay..Friday night..Such a "happy" weekends..I'm going to fill it with sitting and hunching over my laptop and trying my best to finishing all my assignments and presentation slides...which I should do since last week but due to my procrastination and my special habit..doing everything last minute so here I am, struggling but I still try to run away from this responsibility..so, I'll let my self to have a 2 hours rest by watching this....

I find it such an interesting film..the moral values is the most important thing in here..where love overtakes the discrimination..the skin colors..the race..Love it and suddenly felt so emotional now..I'm tired and want to sleep..*eh?am I just making an excuses to do the tones of assignments and presentation slides?hmn..never mind..I'll make it up tomorrow..

*Procrastination Mode *

Unexpected gift?

My unknown senior been giving me this red envelope...

and I thought, that was a very good of her for giving me a money for this CHINESE NEW YEAR..

and when I opened it up, this is what inside..

I was shocked!!

What is this?

At first, I'm frustrated when I found out there was no money inside..

but when I read through it, I think it was more valuable than money..

The hardest fact to be accepted is always the truth.

Today,
My lecturer (He used to be a doctor and now he's already retired and now doing lecturing) bring something to our OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH class today...
I'm not sure what's the name but it used to test everything in your body, such as your BMI, Percent of body fat and muscles, biological age and etc..He just asked me to stand on it and giving my height and my actual age..

MY HEIGHT= 160cm
MY AGE= 22 years old

and...the outcome....
My BMI= I am overweight..
My body fat percentage= NORMAL okay..
My biological age= 32 years old..

Oh no..it means that my biological age was 10 years older than my actual age..This fact makes me thinking..Now I'm a 22 years old with the Biological age of 32 years old..What if I reach 32 years old..am I going to look like a 42 years old...Oh no..
My lecturer said it's never too late to change my lifestyle...my diet..
I think, I will change my life style and my diet..
Thanks to:

-my insomnia that I always didn't have enough sleep,
-my bad diet for always eating foods and less vegetables and fruits
-my less exercise

My body was suffering from my bad lifestyle and I should change it right away...

Resolutions again??

I'm pulling an all niter to finish off all of my assignment..but after been struggling for almost 12 hours..I still cannot finish it..I think it's due to my habit..procrastinate..I should do all of this assignment since last week and after been lazying for almost 1 week, I've just realize that  I've got lots things to be done..oh no..why I keep doing things last minute?

If only I do it last week, I should be enjoying my Chinese New Year break right now..My college gave us 1 week holiday because of Chinese New Year but me myself been busying my self with assignment while my other friends would be enjoying their holiday now..

I think I should discipline my self more and say a big no..no..to:

1) Face book
2) Twitter
3) Games
4) Excessive sleep
5) Excessive laziness

I think I spent to much time to go on9..I hope I can cut it off from 12 hours to only 3 hours per day..

 It's just  a month since the 2011 approaching, but seems like I already forgetting my new year's resolution..
No!! I should throw away all of this bad habit and starting a new life as a new person..
I cannot waste my parents money for sending me here...I should get a good grades to make my parents happy..Well, it's never too late right?
I should keep this in mind!!
yes!!I can do it!!

‘When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.’ Viktor Frankl

Too Honest?

Sunday is my favorite day because I don't need to set my alarm to wake up at 6am like usually..I can wake up as late as I want..but suddenly,at 7am I was woke up already due to the loud music played by my housemate..I was so angry..he don't even considered other people before playing his rock music..Then,I go to his room and yell at him..I even ask him to use his mind properly..and I closed my door as hard as I can..He might be feeling scared because I never heard any sounds from his room anymore..and FYI,I never talked to this guy before because he just moved into our house last week..I was the most quietest people in our house but to see me turned out to be like a tiger today must freaking him out..

My brother who happen to heard about this,feeling unhappy..He said I don't need to yelling at him that way..but I don't know..I was just too mad..Later,I found out that he is actually a member of a gang..like SUZURAN..I was like,WHATTT???frankly speaking,I'm scared..I'm scared if he will do something to me and now I'm going to apologize to him for my rudeness..

Just now my brother scold me again for my honest words to my other housemate..and he looked like hurts by my words..I don't know what else should I do..I even scold my brother back..But thinking about it back,I knew it's my fault..I'm too stubborn with my honesty..

I used to be to honest..I spit out whatever I felt in my head..My friends said that I'm way too honest and I hurt people's feeling..I have no idea unless someone's remind me..I like people been 100% honest weather it's something I like or not..

What I learned today and from my experience of hurting people for my honesty is devastating and there is nothing gained from it in any way..My exact words are it's best to be honest, but being rude for the sake of honesty isn't appreciated. I will try my best to be honest but I'll layer it with positives or compliments..that will received better I guess?