Tuesday

Mom and I fought about breakfast. Mom cooked instant noodle with an egg. I hate it because the strong smell of the egg. At the end, mum make me a new instant noodle with a fried egg. Mum end up eating the first one.

Dad still talking about the benefits of vitamins. Dad asked me if I could do all the exercise for my new job offer. It's related with Fire Services. I have to be fit enough to pass the fitness test. Dad is surprised when I told him I cant do pumping.

Oh well

It's over TT

I mean my 2 and 7 months diploma course. It has just ended on last Saturday. Last Saturday is my final exam for Risk Assessment paper in the morning session and quiz on the evening session. Why quiz? It is because for this final semester, there is no presentation due to time constraints. Yeah, just imagine how much time will it take for over 40 students in my batch to finish up all the presentation when the duration for this semester is only 1month plus.

I don't know how about you guys but for me, after my final semester ended I just feeling pretty sad. There will be no classes to attend, no presentation, no last minute doing assignment and no exam. I somehow, want to be a College Student again. I do complained in my past post about how hectic it is or how bored I am, but that was during that moment. Now, I do miss being a College Student. I want to learn more.

Being a student means that I am allowed to do mistakes as it is time for me to learn. Now, I am doing my industrial training and mistake is still allowed but later when I am working, mistake won't be acceptable. I don't know but I feels like I'm not ready yet to be a "working women".

My brother said that he too, miss our College Life. See? My brother also feels the same. I'm glad that both of us are doing well. 


What's left? The convocation that will be held on the end of this year.

The first meeting that I've attended. This is for contractors for PCSB and this monthly meeting will basically discuss about HSE matters.

Dear Dad...

I know people said that why you have to celebrate Father's Day?Everyday is a father's day.
I do agree with that yet Father's day is a day whereby we can celebrate it with our dad. The day where we celebrate for them for being a father.

For this year Father's day, I am still away from home. Yup, for my study.
I just want to wish my father, Happy Father's Day and thanks for being such an awesome dad!

This song is the song that I love the most. I give it for my dad for this special day. :))

In which my bro and I shopping for books :)

Went to Popular Book store, Bintang Plaza with my Bro and 2other friends@ housemate today to finish up the balance of the Voucher. My Bro and I has spent the MYR150 last month and since today is the last date before it's due date which is today. Yeah, kinda last minute. The good thing is that my MARA loan is making it's way to my bank account. I love how efficient they worked. The money will be available every 1st day of the month. They never banking it later than that date. Okay, back to the story.

You know when there's too much books available but the voucher left is only MYR 50 so we need to choose wisely. My Bro especially having a hard time to choose his book. He want to buy the  buy " Chicken book for teenage soul" but he said it was sold out. To find men who like to read novel is quite rare. Same goes to my Bro. He's the one who didn't like the love story novel. He prefer the non- fiction book. So, he managed buy two books which are:

Meanwhile , I get this for myself. I want the " The girl with the tattoo book" but at the end I pick these book. I want the Stephen King book, Cecilia Ahern and Jodi Picoult but you know why right? I didn't have enough money. hehe. Note the 50% rebate? The  "Weird Sisters" cost is MYR 39.95 while  More Like Her" book cost is MYR 31. 90. I suppose to pay almost MYR 70++ right? but after the rebate, I paid MYR 55. 90. They take the lowest price between both of the books and the pricier book will be discounted and my second book is only cost me MYR 15. 95.  Make sure both of the book have the same 50% logo at the cover page. I know. Cheapskate right? :D I don't care because it makes me happy!

I Wonder How My Parents....

taking care of my siblings and I when we're sick. They're both working and I still remember that one of them( either my mum or dad) will take 1 or 2 days off just to taking care of us.

Now, I'm having flu, fever and sore throat and I'm far away from home. I don't know what should I do. I mean I don't really know how to taking care of myself. If I'm home, my parents will make sure that they will put the warm cloth on my fore head to reduce the heat. Also, cooking chicken porridge or Chinese herbs and making me eat all the medication on time. I just don't know. I'm felt really weak right now to do all everything. I want my parents to be by my side( which is pretty impossible).

I only make sure that I'm drinking lot of warm water, having more sleep and eating more.

kthanksbye

Too much to think yet very little sleep....

and it makes me so CRANKY. Thinking on how should  I done my group assignment that supposed to be a 4 person effort alone. This is why I really hate group assignment.

Feeling so down today. Didn't talk much like usual. Frustrated with myself actually because I'mm just making myself look so unfriendly. I should at least talk to this few new people in my College but I didn't do it. Sigh. Maybe it's because of my mood.

Okay, let's go to the bright side. Today, I've passed up my safe work procedure assignment and feeling so relieved. The burden at my shoulder seems reducing itself. I'm happy. Really happy. So, basically for this 6th Semester I have 4 more assignments to go.

Thinking of my parents and my little baby too, my kitten, Micky. Haish. Homesickness. Also thinking about money too. How I wish I can work now so that I can support my family and give my parents a much better life. It's not that I'm really ungrateful about my current life, it's just that I want to pay my parents for what they've done. Really, I'm going to get a job and support them financially.

Haven't sleeping for 1 day already and I think I should sleep now so my mood going to be better.

Good night~

Their Way Of Life in The Past..

I bet many of you will always hear from your parents how hard their life is when they're young.

My dad used to tell my siblings and I, how hard their life is.It is not easy even when they're going go to school. They ( my dad and his siblings) used to walk for hours before they reach their school. My grandfather was a heavy drinker so their life depends on my grandma. Luckily, my grandma is really hardworking and she will do almost anything to make a money. My father will help her at the paddy fields when the school was over. My grandma also sell this kind of handmade alcohol and she also selling the homemade ice cream. They have no this and no that.

Meanwhile, my mum life is not that hard. My mum having a moderate life. Both of my grandparents are working and life is not that bad compared to my fathers but they also have their downturn too.

My parents often reminds me that I should appreciate my life. No matter how hard my life is, I should always grateful for that is what God gives me. His blessings.To be thankful for all of the opportunities I have nowadays when they didn't even have a chance to feel during the past time.

The New Year

My family and I didn't do anything special for this and same goes to the X'mas day before. I'm just grateful that my family and I still can celebrate it together except for my elder sister who's nowhere to be found. I'm also sad because of my younger sister who've change in her behavior. I just wanna wish that we are healthy and fine always.

I will try to be by your side Lord. Lately, my faith seems so to be TOO dry that I find myself really far from you. I hope that this FAITH won't change anymore.

My Bro & I

My Bro: You should sleep now.

Me: Of course, I will but give me 15 minutes.

My Bro: *Peeking through my door & saw my lap top was on*
               You know what, I think you should discipline yourself more. That's what you need.      

                D.I.S.C.I.P.L.I.N.E!
       
Me: Just stared at him until he's off to his own room.

Urghhhh...I know. I know. Things getting worse here. I mean my insomnia. Yesterday, I've sleep only at 11:30 am and then I woke up at 5pm. My Bro don't like my sleep pattern & asked me to discipline myself. He think I should force myself to sleep because it's possible. I've been putting an all niter because of my lap top.So, I better off to bed now before my Bro checking on me again later.

Good Night~

I'm Holding My Anger

My Bro: Hey, did you see my money. I put it on your table.

Me: Huh? I never saw it.

My Bro: I put it here. How could it lost?

Me: I don't know! I didn't touched it!

My Bro: but I remembered that I put it here just now.
             ( He's even checking on my purse)


He's been asking for 7 times to be exact. I hate it! it's like he's been accusing me for stealing his money when I know I'm not. The moment I saw him checking on my purse, I'm almost explode!!!!Seriously, ALMOST!!
I even said to my self that if he was going to ask my where the heck his money is, I'm sure he will splash with my anger.  Then, suddenly, he was silent. I knew it. He forgot that he'd already put that damn money in his pocket. I don't even want to look at him. I'm too mad but when he suddenly said that he was going to buy my favourite Chocolate Cake,my heart is cold again. The anger that I've hold is all vanished.

That's how my bro do it. He know exactly how to spoiled my mood, how to hurt me and he even know how to heal them back again.

I Want To Eat Homecooked Meals

Even though I just came back from my hometown, KK few days ago, I'm started to have this feelings. The feelings where you're cravings for the meals that have been cooked by your mum, dad or even your siblings. When I reach college yesterday, my friend said that look fatter after just two weeks going back my hometown and I told her that the food at my hometown tastes the best that I've found myself eating and eating all the time like there's tomorrow. I think I gained almost 4KG. Surprise? No, I'm not because due to the amount of foods that I've eaten during that time, I know why my weight bounce that way but I still don't mind because now that I'm back here in Miri, I know for sure that the 4KG will shed itself due to my hectic students life. Btw, during holiday, I noticed that my mum and my younger sister have been cooking lotsa meat actually it was upon my request because during my 3 months here (Miri), I barely eat meat. I think I only get to eat meat only one time for that 3 months so I need to eat meat as my source of protein. Also, due to the heat at KK, they tend to cooked more "buang panas" dessert. But among all of those "buang panas" dessert, there's one "buang panas" that really caught my eyes. The one that cooked by my younger sister. Even though the color look way to dark, I'm impressed by the taste and the fragrance itself. I just love it.

Mix Red Beans Porridge

 

My sister cooked the red beans along with the peanuts, sago and the roasted sesame seed. I would like to have it again later on my next semester break.When i asked my sister why did she used sesame, she said it's good for the hair. And I bet she's right.

Palm Sunday

 

So, today is Palm Sunday which means we're on the last Sunday of lent and it's actually the beginning of the Holy Week. I miss the moment where all of my family members going to masses together every week without fail. The most part that I've remembered the best when it comes to wake us(my bro's, sister's and I) up early in the morning if the mass is in the morning . My parents need to knocked our door a few times( a lot of times actually) to make sure that we're really awake. My parents really played a big roles when it comes to the religious thing. They never failed to remind us to pray and to always be thankful for every single thing. I have to admit that I'm not religious but I try my best to be one. 

 

 

~Happy Palm Sunday~

Everything that I am & will be it is because of God because of his majesty which captures me and love that lives within me <3

When My Bro is in the Kitchen

My bro is offering himself to be a chef today..yeah..I like it because I don't need to cook today..and the things that makes me more happier is because I got a chance to taste the meals that cooked by my bro..it's not his first time to cook because he always cook for himself but it's my first to taste the meals that come from his hands..haha...It's weird when he said that he'll be cooking our dinner tonight and I was so shocked. When I'm going to the toilet and walking pass by the kitchen then I noticed all of  the roommates( men) were sitting and chatting at the dinner table..ohh..My bro don't want me to cook because of them..He don't like me to cook when they're around..and I'm glad that he's thinking that way because I also feels uncomfortable being around all of them especially when they're not my family members..credits to my bro for being a responsible bro..

Fried Chicken Wings with tomato

Miss You....

6am: Off to bed after finished off my assignments...Yeah

3:30pm: Woke up only to realized that I've missed my class which is started at 2pm

3:35pm: Mum called. I told my mum that I'm at home and just woke up and didn't go to college. Am glad that mum didn't said anything about it since she's understand on how "hardworking" I am when I'm doing my assignments

4:40pm : Conversations ended. Trying to remember what's my mum said on the phone. Oh my mum said to take a good care of my health( I'm not), get enough sleep( which I didn't practice nowadays since I have tonnes of things to be done) and etc...

Oh..mum..I wished you know how much I've been missing you and all at homes. I miss your home cooked meals  that is cook with lots of love...

My mum's bunga kertas and I just love the colour

 

My Dad as A Handy Man

I've been in my dark room for 1 day already. My landlord said that he will come and fix that lamp but he's still haven't come. My brother had offered his helping hands but seems like the lamp need a new bulb so what I can do now is just waiting.

I miss my dad. If my dad was here, he surely can fix this lamp in just a minute. I miss his job as a handy man our family.

I still remember back then when my siblings and I used to get my father's service for cutting our hair. My dad would give my sister's and I the most simplest hair cut. He would cut our bangs and all of our hair would look exactly the same. He would cut our hair on the shoulder's length so we don't need to spent a lot of our time managing our hair when we're going to school. True enough.

I still remember how many cars would park at our parking site. They are all my father's friend and they come to our house to asking for help. Yes, my dad could fix a car and he always lend a hand to his friends car for free and that's why the amount of car that need to be fixed sometimes can be out of control. FYI, my dad didn't have any proper education on how automotive@ fixing a car and he actually learn it from friends.

Gardener?Yes, my dad is really good at this. Watermelon? Guava? Jack-fruits? Leeks? Capsicum?eggplant?Cree?cabbage?Spinach?beans? You name it and it's all in our gardens..

Carpenter? yes..My dad made all of the cupboard in our homes...He made it from a starch until it become like something that you could see in the furniture shops.

Chef?Yes, he really a good chef. My mum also a good chef but my dad always cooks something that we never taste. The combination's of different kinds of veges and beans that actually makes a delicious meal.

Electrician? Yes, he's been working as an electrician and of course he can do and fix everything in the name of electrical devices.


p/s HOMESICK becomes worse...

You Light Of My Life

Yesterday, I'm having such a bad day....It's not PMS okay..It's just because what I'm hoping for didn't goes like what I wished for..Everything I do, seems wrong..I try to be P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E..But the N.E.G.A.T.I.V.E thought always tried to poisoning my mind..And the NEGATIVENESS wins over me..I was crying so bad..So bad until it feels like your heart had this BIG and HEAVY stones inside...I really need someone to talk to but I just don't want to bother them anymore with my problems..I know they also got their own problems....So, I handle it myself..I tell myself that I will deal it myself but I'm just so hopeless...I want to pray but I just don't have the COURAGE..I feels so DOWN..

I cried..I cried..and I cried until I heard my phones ringing at 11pm...and it's my mum numbers..I act like nothing had happened to me..asking them about their day..what did they eat for dinner, where's my dear cat Micky and what he's eating today..Where's my sister..aaaaaannnnddddd......

Suddenly, My mum said like this "If you got problems, just leave it all to Him since He know what the best for you..How little your pain compared to his sufferings" and I heard my dad's voice at the end of the line and he's reminding me to "Keep Praying"

I was shocked!!I didn't even told them my problems and they talking like they knew my current situations..I think that was all about the connection between us family...or can be known as an INSTINCT

LIFT ME UP

Feels so down..

When everything I've done,

Turns out to be so wrong,

It seriously made me thinking of giving up,

But what keeps me going?

Credits to my family...

For all their support...

Even the simple words like "hang in there" and "you have my back" feels like a magic words

Suddenly, I'm touched..

I can felt their love and care for me..

When all my friends seems so far away in the time that I needed them the most,

I'm glad that I have my family,

Who will always by my side,

In every condition,

They will be always by my side,

This is all I need now,

At least I knew that I have someone who care for me..

And I think that's what keep me going...
The strong bond between my family and I,

The love that I shared between them, 

And it even can turns out the simple word to be so magical when it was said in a right moment.. 

 

NEVER GIVE UP,

FOR THAT IS JUST THE PLACE AND TIME

THAT THE TIDE WILL TURN..

TOO YOUNG??TOO OLD??

Mum: Now, don't get married early okay?

Me: But why?
       Ma, you also get married at 23 years old right?I'm 22 years old already..

Mum: You should settle down first..Have a good job..feed Ma and Pa,
           your siblings..
           Back then, that's the trend..all of people need to get married as early as they
           can.
           But, nowadays, things seems to be different...
           I don't want you to regret it later..
           You're way too young to be married..

Me: Okay, Ma..No worries..I will get married 15 years later..( at 37 years old)

Mum: woah? 37??it's way too old dear..27-29 years old should be fine..
          but now, you must concentrate on your studies first..

Me: Btw, almost all of my friends are married already..
       and some of them even got 2 kids already..
       Isn't it great?

Mum: oh no..don't even think of having a child when
          you're still acting like a baby..

Me: How about BOYFRIEND?

Mum: I said NO!

Well..that's it..I think I will never be allowed to have a boyfriend until I am 30 years old...Yeah, I'm giving a lot of thought about this..and I made up my mind not to have a boyfriend until I'm 30 years old..
Hmn..to be honest, I actually had been thinking a lot about marriage..that's happened when my friends told me they're getting married..or..when they were pregnant and about to gave birth..peer pressure I guess..
I wonder how is it feels to be someone wife, to be a mother..
But, like what my mum said, she don't want me to regret it later..Her words got a very deep meaning..my point, I will do as my mum said because I don't want to regret it later when it's too late..

But, a few days later..
I overheard my mum's conversation with my oldest sister..FYI, she's turning 31 years old..

Mum: You got boyfriend already?

My sister: NO..I'm not dating anyone..

Mum: Just tell me the truth..I know, you're seeing someone right?

My sister: Ma!!**she sounds annoyed**

Mum: Okay- okay..But if you're seeing someone, just let me know..
          If you're still single, then, Ma is worried..
          You're 30 years old..
           you're way too old already to be married..

My sister: Nothing to be worried, Ma..
               age is just a numbers..
               You're making me stressed here...


Then.. they become silent and I can felt the tension in the air..I can imagine how's my sister felt right now..
she must be super tense since she's the oldest child in my family..but, what can be done? She's a workaholic..
I'm glad to be TOO YOUNG..no need to be pushed like my sister..hahaha