Friday, February 25, 2011

The Unexpected Path

As I read through it, I was absolutely agree with it. Sometimes, when we doing something and we've been putting our full effort in it but the outcome is not like what we wished for we felt like all the effort was just a waste. Like me, I've been in the situation where my path of life seems so blurry until I want to make a decision to stop walking and just sitting in my room and do nothing. I almost want to give up on life but then when I look through what had happens, it's obvious that things happen for a reasons.

After my SPM results, almost all of my classmates got an offer to the college and me? No, I'm not having any offer since my result is not "REALLY GOOD". I began to asking myself, like why they got the offer and why not me?

Then, I pursue my education to the same school and I'm taking the STPM but due to some distractions, my results were "REALLY BAD"..

So, I'm working as a part-timer as a service assistant( Food & Beverage) at Kinabalu Park for almost 7 months until my parents said it's enough and I need to do something for my future like working with the government or pursue my studies. So I quit my job and begin with my life as a job seeker.

Few months later, I notice about the NAVY job offer at our local news paper and I said to my parents that I will give it a try and there am I attending the interview. My mum was a bit worried since not many women would choose to be a navy but since I seriously got nothing to do on that time, I do my best to be accepted to the Malaysian Navy. For navy interview, it was divided into many sections before you will be accepted. It's like physical fitness, BMI, physical test like eyes, legs and hand also the short interview with the officers. I passed almost all of the sections and my dad was like a bit happy ( he's the one who's accompanying me and saw all the process) because I only need to pass this last section before I get accepted.

But then, the officer said "Sorry, we cannot accept you"
And I ask them "WHY??" and the stupid thing is that I'm almost cried because I was so frustrated because I really thought that I'm going to be accepted.
Maybe the navy officer feels sympathy to me and he also want to prove that he's right so he called another officers and they also said the same thing.
And you know what's my problem?
It's my right hand. My left hand was good but the problem with my right hand is that the radius and ulna bone is not perfectly straight and it will be hard for me to use the rifle because it will not aiming at the right spot. So, yes, I got rejected.

Then, a few months later, on the same news paper, there are the Air Stewardess vacancy and my parents think I should give it a try. So, without any preparation, I give it a try even though I know that I will hardly pass the interview. Also, it had a lot of sections before you get accepted. So, I passed almost all the sections but when it come to the last sections, they said "Sorry, we cannot accept you" but this time I didn't ask because I knew it was my mistake. I really didn't know what to answer because they ask me who is their managing director? what do you find our service? I don't even know who is their manager and I never use their services since it's way more expensive than the other one.But, to be rejected only on the last sections of interview really made me heart broken because my expectation to be accepted were high.

You know what I felt after I get rejected two times? I give up on looking for a job. I told my parents that this is it. I will staying at home and do nothing and I do it for almost 5 months. I've been wasting my time for almost 5 months due to the emotional impact because of my failures in the interviews. During that time, my self esteem was zero and I will only hiding from my friends, my cousins or my relatives. I hate seeing them because they always talk about their university life, assignments or their tutorials. How they want to be like me.

I feels so down because I seriously got nothing to do. Times passed so slow and I began to question my self am I live for no reasons?I'm giving up on everything. My parents unable to watch me being like that, suggested that they will sent me to a college and I said yes. After failed to get a job, I never thinking of studying again and here am I now, studying at a college at 22 years old. Actually, I'm glad because of my parents was very supportive and they always remind me that you're born because of something. Also, I'm glad I didn't get accepted by the Malaysian Navy and the Air Stewardess because I really like my course right now. I'm taking the Occupational Safety and Health and I really looking forward to becoming a Safety and Health Officer.

So, the moral of the stories is NEVER GIVE UP which I've done last time. But if I was really giving up on life, I will not going to pursue my studies to college on the first hand right?

You must never give up and don’t be discouraged,
Motivation comes from within,
Because you’re the one that will hold the key to your destiny

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